BTW.

The picture has no relevance to what I'm about to say: I got a job! It's at a clothing store. I have to work during weekends as well and I can only pick one day off on the weekdays. I'm a bit worried about my exams though, because I have a drama revision the day before exams, and the exams itself. However, the revision is probably in the morning. I'm working 1PM-10PM for 3 weeks. Crazy eh? 11RMB per hour. Oh dear give me strength. <3 I love you Captain Jack Sparrow :'(

LOVE

Workingtermite,

Yohoho, it's a pirate's life for me.

I realized that starting a post by talking about exams is boring. Like really boring.
I mean who cares if I'm taking ENGLISH, or MATH, or whatever exam shit I'm taking because it's not like they're taking it. However, I have to say this: MY EXAMS ARE OVERRRRR.
Not really, no. I still have drama in a week and Textiles in 3 weeks, but they don't count. :P

Well from the photo it's obvious I'm about to talk about Captain Jack Sparrow, the great.
I watched POTC 4 the other day, actually I watched it twice. Not because I liked it that much, it was a bad movie, and if Captian Jack Sparrow wasn't in it, the movie would've failed miserably.
And the half-naked mermaids, they were the highlight of the movie.
Johnny Depp is such a great actor, he's my idol. He can act ANYTHING. His movies are always so weird, probably one of the few movies that he acted in that had a normal character was probably 'The Tourist'. But that was still a good movie nonetheless because the ending was prettyyyy unpredictable.
I think of the real pirates in life, and how people just hate them because they kidnap people and they're evil and don't follow the law. I like em'. There should be a balance in the world, with people who follow the law and order, and people who are just free birds who get to decide what they want to do. At least when they die, they'll be known in the world, and they've had quite a journey. I want to die knowing I did something that not everybody did. Over the summer I think I'm going to start new, like I need to find my inner peace and find a balance. Clear all the evil and dirty things out of my mind. I want to be what I used to be, someone who doesn't overthink things like crazy, 'oh could it be possibly that he likes me?' 'If I do this will it be awkward?' 'That girl's such a slutty bitch for god's sakes.' I want to be the nice, caring, non-judgemental me, but also fun and crazy, and slutty.

I love you Captain Jack Sparrow :')

God, am I bored. I literally just sit around the house all day, I don't even exercise anymore.
I see the boy once in a while, I put him on my list of 'people with smiles that melt my heart'.
Do you have any?
I think from now onwards I'll just write a post either in reply to your post when you actually start WRITING some, or when something's actually happened in my life, because I find myself just rambling on non-stop like how some people do on their blogs. I read it and it drives me crazy. 'I ate omelettes for lunch and then I went out to have some yoghurt and I chilled with my friend then I spend all day studying afterwards. Now I am watching a movie and I think I will go take a shower later on'
Ok, unless I'm obsessed with that person's life, I'd read all that shit and follow his/her blog. But really it's just a lot of rambling about their life. Girl, you need to gimme something interesting.
Ew, I think one of the girls at the cafe I'm at, just farted, the whole cafe smells like shit. Wtf.
Anyways I'm going to go home now, I might go out clubbing this week, and if I do, I'll have something more to write about.

'Ohhh, this is how it starts, lightning strikes the heart, goes out like a gun, brighter than the sun' - Colbie Caillat :)

Love

Lollapallooza ♥,

I'm like a bird, I can only fly away.

I'm free from Malay! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I took my last exam today, which was essay writing, and I'm feeling very proud because I understood the questiona and I wrote the right content! Hahaha, please please give me a B...
I'm definitely enjoying life right now, no school, no homework, just studying the only subjects left that I love...Science and Business Studies :)

Anyways I want to talk to you about this problem that I think I have and I think it's weird. Like really weird.
And it often gets in the way of my life.
I think I have like multi personalities and I'm not even joking.
Like you might not see it because only when I'm with you then I combine those two together, my innocent side and my evil side. Which together is just normal me.
It's not like I 'pretend' to be someone I'm not, I just don't reveal that other side.
I haven't done anything bad for a while and it's like suddenly I've reincarnated myself into a whole new innocent person who's never done anything bad in life. I don't like it when people say really nasty things like 'tits' and like 'pussy'. And I think kissing is yucky. No joke.
I remember that time when my ex went away for a while and when he came back it was so weird for me to be kissing him. I felt really bad, and it was like I was doing something really sinful.
So yeah, I think I need help. Right now I can't even IMAGINE myself going out clubbing at all.
It's just so shameful!
But again, you would never think I'd have that problem because I'm just me in front of you.
I even tell you when I'm going to take a dump which btw I find to be very cool. :D
We'd be the perfect roommate, and I won't even have to buy my own books, you'll just buy it all for me, and I can just borrow em'. >:)
I was googling at some of the lofts and wow, what I really like about em' is that the windows are HUGE. It goes all the way from the floor to the celing on the SECOND floor!

I definitely love the stairs, they're so GRANDE.

 And imagine all that SPACE. The vast space we'll have. Hahahahaha.

But what I'd definitely want is an apartment loft, then we'd get to watch the sunset, and hopefully we'd have the view of the city.

I really doubt I'll be able to afford this by myself though, so we'd definitely have to be roommates!

Oh and I have a few ideas for the interior design of the place. I was thinking like red and white walls, with wooden planked floors, and lots and lots of mirrors and windows!

Something like this, but the red could be darker:

Or we could have it look more modern, grey with white and wooden furnitures:

Hahaha, I'm going overboard with this! But whatever we do, there should be wooden stuff in our apartment loft!

I really like doing interior decorations, I think I could also possibly be an interior decor in the future.

Check out this website : http://www.huelsta.co.uk/uk_en/segment_uk_en/living/index.html

They have REALLY nice interior design ideas, it's just beautiful.

I'm quite glad I'm going to be able to do Design & Technology for A levels next year, maybe for coursework I could design our own home in the future! Oh and, mats under our living room tea table is a must. :)

So now, all I have to do, is succeed in life. Hahaha, i might not have big dreams for what I want to do, but I sure have big dreams for the things I want in the future. Check out this weirdass loft I found on google:



   To be honest, I'm so scared for the future. Time is flying by at the speed of light, and I'm afraid I'm not properly spending every single minute of my life, for example right now, maybe I could be doing something productive and useful, instead of googling all this shit about my dream home. And then in a year I'd wish I'd have done something more useful, in two years when I'm in college I'd wish I'd have done better with myself, and when i apply for a job, I'd be thinking of how I wish I'd have done better in college. And it'll just go on forever and forever and my life will just be full of regrets you know?

I know you're not supposed to think like that, but it just scares me.

Yet it doesn't scare me enough to work hard instead of lying around the house, writing on blogs, going on skype, and chatting with friends.

It's fucked up :/

Anyways I shall get going now, need to study for my practical this Thursday, I can't wait! :)

You make me go la-la.

Hey! I got my new laptop today! And dear lord is it beautiful.
I can like open different websites with my fingerprints and also its got beatsaudio!
It's the HP Pavillion dv6 series :)

It's a Saturday and I'm just sitting in my room using it, I've never owned a laptop before all to myself, so this is all quite exciting for me.
I can't stop listening to the song 'I never told you' by Colbie Caillat, the lyrics keep repeating 'I miss everything about you' and it's killing me.
I'm just waiting, and waiting, for a miracle to happen, for him to change his mind.
But seriously? A miracle? I'm waiting for miracles?
I can't even concentrate during the exams.
I heard this line in American Idol from Steven Tyler: 'You made Gaga's yaya go la la!'
He makes me go la la, like full on la la, not just to my yaya. :|
I hate how human brains work. Sometimes, I wish I was a robot with no feelings.
Just sometimes.
Anyways, I shall go do more past year papers, still waiting for your FIRST POST. >:(
Here's a question I saw in one of my papers, quite funny :P :

'But I know this crush ain't going away, going away.' - David Archuleta

Loveeeeee

Lollapalooza ♥

Sad times.

Hey, it's been a while since i wrote a post.
I'm in the middle of the exams right now, having English Language tomorrow!
I'm not scared at all, more like, completely crushed.
I had a crush on this guy over Easter, and I mentioned him in my previous post I think.
He's the guy that I realized I really had a crush on and wasn't just attracted to.
Never once did I fantasize about him!
Which is like, WOAHHH, for me,hahhaha. He's so easy and fun to talk to, it could never be awkward.
So then I started getting close to him, we became good friends.
I had the best time during the last day of school, not because it really was the best, because in ICT I got to spend time with him, and even with his messily geled hair (we had to dress up), he was still as cute as ever.
Then we got to walk together after ICT across the field and sigh, it was the best.
Then afterwards I got a photo of a hot guy with his 6 pack so yeah that was also great.
Later that day, I asked him out to watch Pirates of the Carribean 4 with me which was coming out near the end of exams.
He said yes, and we texted and talked, it all seemed to be going well.
Next day he texted and said good morning, we were both at school for some revision for the exams.
We talked on the phone for ages that night, 2 hours, and I didn't want to get off the phone with him but he had to go, it ws like, 3 AM at night. :)

Well, as you know, in real life, there are no fairytales, and just a day ago I found out he actually just wanted to be friends with benefits. And he was such an asshole when he said it.
I was confused, heartbroken, disappointed...SO CONFUSED, because I didn't see it coming at ALL.
I thought it was real you know, because during that phone call he talked about it being 'official' and I even told him that he wasn't going to get the things that he thought he would get from me, like sex, and he said he knew. I told him I didn't like how he smoked and all that, and he said he was OK with it and he'll stop, just like that. Three simple words 'Ok I'll stop.' He said in the future I shouldn't be afraid to tell him anything.
That's why I was so confused. What the hell happened?
So now I don't get cute little texts from him anymore, and everytime i see posters and hear ads of Pirates of the Carribean 4, my heart sinks and I think about how such an amazing movie could just be ruined like that before I even saw it.
I still like him though, I can't control how I feel. So it's just back to base again where I still have a secret crush on him and I know it'll never go anywhere.

I keep telling myself that it's OK, because that's life, you learn from your mistakes, but I'm done with learning from my mistakes, I want to stop adding things to my 'do not' list, the longer it gets it just makes me feel so sick knowing I have experienced all these things. All the cliche things in tv shows, betrayal, love, hatred, crushes, desperation. Like when is it ever going to stop? I don't want to be part of the 'STAY STRONG GIRLS, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE' group, it's stupid, it's bullshit. I don't need cheering up, I don't need to be comforted with words such as 'it's OK, theres many other fish in the pond, he's an asshole, he doesn't deserve u.' Shit like that, are lies. It's NOT ok, I want that fish, the one who's an asshole, the one who doesn't deserve me. I'm going to face it, and soon the shitty feeling will go away and it'll be forgotten about in a few years.

Loving the song 'Lee Dewyze - Beautiful like you' atm.

Love

Lollapalooza ♥